Where is Ben Solo?
by Sherlockreader
Summary: You see that Stormtrooper? Yep, the one who looks like they're about to shit their pants. That's me. I made a Promise to a boy, years ago. I got a terrible feeling in my heart that he needed my help, now it's time to make good. Of course he's on the most guarded dangerous ship in the known galaxy... OC / Ben Solo - Luke's academy/Jedi training before TFA
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

You see that stormtrooper? No, not that one.

Yep, the one who looks like they're about to shit their pants. Thats me.

I only came to save my friend Ben, they said he'd be on this ship. The scariest ship in the galaxy. They laughed when they told me, those old associates of Jabba the Hutt. They had never been great conversationalists, but good for information. Not that they made it easy. Herat was tired and old, she was always willing to take payment for information, but didn't seem to take any joy from it. Amanaman on the other hand, loved to report his information in riddles, never quite imparting the whole story. Everything the bounty hunter said, had to be taken with a pinch of salt.

"He's on the Supremacy." he said, well more like cackled. He'd wished me good luck with such glee, I couldn't help but wonder if he was playing me for a fool. Honestly, it's the only lead I've had in years, so I accepted it, more than happy to get off Tatooine and trudged my way back to my hydrogen powered Dartship.

"The sooner I get all this blasted sand out of my shoes the better." I said out loud as I opened the hatch and climbed into the cockpit. This was cheap startravel, Dartship's were mass produced during the Dark Nest Crisis. I got my hands on this pile of junk on Jakku a few months previously, that was another hatefully sandy place. Thankfully the Dartship was small, quick and could stay under the radar when needed. I seem to get myself into the worst predicaments, so yeah, I needed that.

"Shit." I said, leaning back in my seat, Running my hand over my face and letting out a rough sigh. Of all the places, the Supremacy!? The ship that no one with half a brain wants to be in the same system as, let alone plan a single handed invasion and rescue son of a general of the Resistance and a well sought after smuggler, yeah, of course Ben was going to be in the most guarded ship the First Order had to offer. Maybe if I'd done this last year or the year before, he wouldn't be there. I had been young and stupid, I got distracted exploring the Outer Rim. Now I've got to make good on a promise I made at Master Luke's academy… many years ago.

(line here)

The New Jedi Academy, many years ago.

Luke's academy was beautiful, to someone who grew up on a smoggy rock heap of a planet anyway. I was used to a palate of greys, with an occasional variation on greens and reds when the rock contained a more potent mineral. But this place was different, instead of the canyon or underground cities of Aleron, everything was on the outside. Instead of smog and rock dust, the surface was clear and bright. Yes it was beautiful.

As I left the transport ship, I looked up to the building in front of me. The space around the main compound was littered by smaller buildings, and in the centre was a grand domed structure that stood well above the others. Further out, on some grass lands stood what looked like little dome shaped wooden huts. I wasn't sure if they were for meditation, or if they were private rooms, but they looked peaceful at least. I'm not really the meditating type, I can never seem to switch my sixteen year old brain off. My Force sensitivity is weak, but I guess Master Luke saw something in me that I don't even know about yet. Regardless, any place was better than the mineral mines on Aleron. That place was hard work, long hours and pain, for a meager sum of credits that barely passed as a salary. The credits that workers got at the end of the working day was just enough to buy a meal and a drink of water, if you wanted to save up for a new ventilator mask, you'd have to go without one of those two things. We all learned quick that it was better to breathe clean air with a rumbly tummy, than to breathe in rock dust with a full one.

There is a man beside me, he was the one to collect me from Aleron; Alo, I think his name was. Alo is a tall dark, rather intimidating figure beside me, one of his strides count for two of my own and soon enough I'm falling behind him as I look around.

"Plenty of time to admire the view later young Eiddwen." he spoke softly, and I jogged to keep up.

* * *

That's my name by the way, Eiddwen, Jessa Eiddwen. I should have said so before, but I'm currently on the most dangerous ship in the Galaxy, looking for a boy I promised I'd find nearly ten years ago; dressed like a stormtrooper with Kylo Ren walking right towards me. Yeah, I've kind of got other things on my mind.

 **A/N- Never done a first person before. I'm hoping this is just going to be a quick burst sort of story that I can update whenever, instead of waiting and mercilessly editing like I usually do (I've got two of these such stories that I can't bare to upload until they're done). Let me know what you think. x**


	2. Chapter 2

It's about 6pm, I've been at the academy for maybe an hour. Master Alo said I would see Master Luke by Zhellday, that's two days from now. I thought I'd get to see him again today, but what is life without waiting? I can be patient, sometimes. Today is clearly not one of those days, I'm restless, used to being in the mines all day and being exhausted by the time I got back to my bunk. I never thought I'd miss the ease of being bone achingly tired.

I swing my feet over the side of the low bed I'd been lying on, standing and stretching my arms high into the air. I peaked around the door to my small room, looking at the long stone hallway. Apparently, new recruits stay in one place in the same building, whilst older students stay in the huts outside. The poor things were encouraged to meditate with any free time they had, how dull for them.

The corridor was empty, I haven't actually seen another student yet. I guess they're busy, or meditating? The very thought of sitting alone in a room with nothing but silence and my own thoughts makes my skin crawl. My footsteps echoed a little as I emerged from my room and retraced my steps from a few hours before going back outside to the clear skied evening. I moved out of the main complex of buildings, along the outer wall and find my feet taking me to the grassland where the older students lived. Further behind the small set of huts is another portion of wall, probably originally designed as an outer defensive structure. About a third of the way along, stands a tall straight tower, it tapers to a tiled point at the top with a weather vane at its tip; its a watch tower I guess, there is windows set all around the top. The bricks are old, some are missing and others stick out at random intervals up the cylindrical surface. Looks to me like the perfect surface to climb. I'll have to be quiet and sneak through the huts and get up onto the wall.

I take to the outskirts of the grass, looking out for twigs or stones that would make my footsteps louder. I lose concentration a couple of minutes in as I imagine climbing the tower, thinking about what the view might be like from the top. Three twigs and a stone kicked later and I realise stealth isn't really my forte. I pick up the pace and end up running the last hundred or so meters, my adrenaline is pumping by the time I reach the wall. Its old, crumbling a little, ideal for foot and hand holds. I jump up and down a few times in anticipation, then begin to climb. I've got a big stupid grin on my face, I'm happy. Imagine that, climbing for enjoyment instead of climbing the rough stone surfaces of the mine walls for survival. Not having to worry about the next meal, not having to think and worry every second about a collapse, or that Master Yanei won't think I've worked hard enough that day. At the top of the wall, I sit for a moment, beaming as the sun starts its descent towards the buildings of the academy. I'm safe. Not thinking, not worrying. Maybe meditation won't be so terrible after all, not if it feels as good as this.

I look up at the tower to my right, up close it looks much safer than the wall I'm sitting on; its clearly stood the tests of time much better. The bricks that protrude from the surface seem a little less random than they looked from the other side of the field; some of them have a little hook poking out of the outer surface, maybe for hanging lanterns on? Standing on the wall I make my way over to the tower, resting my hand against its rough surface.

"Hello." I say gently. I realise it can't respond, I'd probably freak out if it did. I just find myself talking to inanimate objects sometimes, they certainly deserve more respect than half the humans I knew on Aleron. When I met him, Master Luke tried to explain the Force to me, that it flows in every being, every stone, everything in the entire galaxy. That made a lot of sense to me, like I've always been able to feel it, even though I didn't know what it was yet.

I've mapped out a basic path in my head, how I want to climb the tower, but I'm willing to adapt if it looks like the brick is loose or starts to crumble in my hand. The first hand hold is maybe half a meter above where I can reach, I'll have to jump. I'll worry about how to get down once I'm at the top. My rough calloused hand grabs the stone as I jump for it, I swing for a moment, using my momentum to propel my other hand up to the next stone. My left foot finds a crack in the brick at about knee height, I put all my weight on my left foot, boosting myself up and grabbing the next stone, finding myself once again handing on with one hand. Five years in the mines gave me strength up until this point I seem to have taken for granted. Too soon I'm sitting at the top, bracing my feet against the mossy stone tiles that make up the sloped roof. I close my eyes, spread my arms wide and laugh. What an incredible feeling to be free.

"What are you doing?" a very unimpressed voice says from the ground right in front of me. I drop my arms immediately, looking down to see a boy about a year older than me, he has dark hair that covers over his ears. He seems to be fairly tall, of course I tower over him from up here, so I can't be sure.

"Umm." I smile at him a little guiltily, maybe I woke him as I was sneaking around. The word sneak being used very loosely in this instance, "Nothing?" I reply, it comes out more as a question than I'd intended. The boy just sighs, raising his eyebrows. "I guess I just had a little extra energy to get rid of?" I shug.

"Down." he said, stepping back a little and gesturing to the ground a his feet. I feel my eyebrows knit, who was this person, and why did he think he had the right to boss me around? As far as I knew there was no curfew set for me yet, I wasn't told specifically not to climb things. I wasn't about to leave until I had seen the sun set all the way.

"What's your name?" I say, making no attempt to climb down. I can't help smiling as he seems to get a little more irritated.

"Ben solo." he told me, somewhat reluctantly.

"Hello Ben solo, It's lovely to meet you. I'm quite happy up here actually, so I think I'll stay." I send him a defiant smile that dares him to argue back. Another sigh from the ground, he's holding back the urge to shout, I can tell.

"Look," he begins sternly, " You're new here, there are rules, you need to learn and follow." he throws an irritated look to the complex behind him. I guess Ben Solo isn't too keen on learning and following either. I look up from him to the setting sun, it would be gone in just a few moments. I take a deep breath, cherishing the new sensation of being up high instead of under the ground. Then the sun was gone, it had sunk behind the tall central domed building leaving a striking black silhouette. Thinking I've pushed my luck a little I begin to climb down, letting myself retrace the route from the ascent, and jumping down from the crumbling wall. Ben sighs again, he clearly doesn't want to be here. "You shouldn't be out here, the field behind the huts is for the older students to have peace and quiet to train, new recruits stay in the complex unless Master Luke says otherwise." he said as I walked up to him.

"I didn't know, I only got here today." I told him, still slightly amused by how irked he looks."I'm Jessa by the way." unresponsive, he turns and walks away from me and I easily catch up to walk in step, leaving a respectful distance between us. He is tall, but he only has a few inches on me.

"It's common sense." he snapped harshly. As soon as the words had come out of his mouth, he looked like he was internally berating his own quick temper.

"Sorry if I pissed you off." I say apologetically as we walk past the set of huts, I wasn't offended by his sharp tone, goodness knows a little snap was nothing in comparison to what I was used to.

"You're new, so you can't know all the rules yet." he sighed, his shoulders losing some of their tenseness. I shot him an appreciative smile, this guy was really trying not to be an ass, despite me being a nuisance.

I looked up to the main academy wall, where the large archway that indicated the way back to the rooms .

"No worries, I'm used to a lot worse." I said, "I'll try not be be quite as irritating to you the future." he raises his eyebrows in doubt. "I said _try_." I smile with a joking shrug.

"I get the feeling you're going to be trouble however much you try." he said quietly, I can't be sure, but it looks like there may be a little smile trying to pull its way onto his otherwise indifferent features.

"Thanks Ben." I grin.

"Go back to your room Jessa." he says before leaving me just inside the archway, he walked back towards the wooden domes on the grass. I made my way back to my room and flop onto the low bed, feeling it might be a bit easier to fall asleep now.

* * *

It's like time has slowed down. I'm still on the Supremacy, Kylo Ren is still stalking towards me and a group of other Stormtroopers stand with me in a row. I guess it's fear, its all in my head. Thinking out loud about all of this is just my way of passing the time, reminding myself why I'm here in the first place. Kylo Ren looks even scarier in extreme slow motion, the robes, the mask, the lightsaber at his hip. I've seen that thing in action, he swings it around when he's angry. The Stormtrooper to my left, name of KN8214 (I call him Ken in my head) told me to avoid him like the plague. I should probably be thinking of a way to find Ben and get the hell of this ship. I'm just so easily distracted.

 **A/N-** **Just to clarify, this fic is Jessa's recollection on how she got up to this moment on the Supremacy. Each chapter moves forward from when she first gets to the academy, whilst the situation on the Supremacy moves 1000 times slower (like when you're in an accident and time seems to slow and your life flashes before your eyes) Also some other moments from the time leading up to it. Eventually the the past story will catch up to the present time and I assume it'll all go to shit pretty quick, I don't know, I haven't written it yet.**


	3. Chapter 3

It's Taungsday, my first official day here at the academy. I was up at the crack of dawn like always, I decided to run around the outer wall and was stupidly surprised to find that many people were up and apparently had been for hours. As I passed by the field and got distracted thinking about Ben Solo and climbing the tower yesterday, ending up running straight into someone else. I tripped on their feet and end I up on my ass on the stone path.

"Hey watch it!" they yell as they run straight past me, they're very quick. I see a flash of short light blonde hair before they run around the next corner out of sight.

"Sorry." I half-heartedly call after them, letting a long sigh escape, bringing my legs underneath myself. Great start Jessa, great start.

"Don't worry about him, Koran is always a bit grumpy in the morning." a kind voice says from behind me. I look up to see a girl about my height, long brown hair and kind eyes. She wore light cream robes that looked comfortable. "I'm Lyra." she says holding out a hand, I take it with a smile and she helps pull me to my feet.

"Hello, I'm Jessa. You can call me that, I also go by the grand title of Most Easily Distracted One." I say with a dry chuckle, Lyra laughs easily. She looks me up and down, observing my clothes, a light long sleeved shirt and loose grey bottoms. These are pretty much the only clothes I have, they're in fairly good nick as I wear my mining suit most days; but anyone could tell they're old.

"That is grand, you must be very proud." she said, still giggling lightly.

"So proud." I say with a hand over my heart.

"You're new here right?" she asks, we begin to walk, continuing along the path I was running on before.

"Just got here yesterday, I'm not really sure what is going on to be perfectly honest." I said as we walked in step.

"No worries, have you met Master Luke yet? He's usually the one who gives new pupils the run down of the place."

"Master Alo, said I wouldn't see him until tomorrow." I told her, kicking a stone from the path onto the grass.

"In that case, I take it upon myself to at least give you the basics. I've been here a month of so, people come and go all the time, so it's always a little manic. Newbies like us get breakfast at 7 in the main mess hall, its an hour earlier for anyone on a higher level, I swear they never sleep anyway." she chuckles, "The morning is spent as group, Primeday and Taungsday mornings are used for meditation; Centaxday, Zhellday and Benduday are for physical training. You can stick with me for a bit, I'll show you where everything is."

"I really appreciate that, thank you." I didn't know people could be this nice, I have to say it's a welcome change.

"No problem. I haven't really made any friends here yet. I'm happy for the company, everyone else seems so caught up in their own training." Lyra waved her hand around in the air as she spoke. "Go get changed and I'll meet you back here in twenty minutes for breakfast?" we'd made it around to another entrance to the complex that I hadn't realised was there. It opened up to a open stone court, with a fountain in the centre. "The rooms are through there to the left," she said, pointing past the fountain to a small door in the wall. She must have seen me trying to get my bearings. "Wear the light robes, everyone wears those for meditation and casual day wear. I would recommend not wearing _those_ outside your room." she said indicating her own robes,then mine.

"OK, thanks." I smile sheepishly, looks like I would be utterly lost without her guidance.

"See you Medo." I send her a confused look before dropping my head with realisation. I'd introduced myself as the Most Easily Distracted One, inadvertently giving myself a nickname. Lyra laughs good naturedly and I shake my head with a smile, before walking the way she had pointed back towards the rooms.

Once back in my small room I moved to only thing that looked like a cupboard, sure enough a few sets of the loose fitting robes were folded on the shelves. I hadn't bothered exploring the room before, I had assumed I would have to work to pay for my own Padawan robes, so I was pleasantly surprised to see the variants of light browns stacked on top of one another. I tried my best to imitate the way Lyra's robes were tied, this whole situation was just a learning curve. They certainly weren't as comfy as I had hoped, they seemed to be made out of a rough cotton material that was scratchy like sand.

It's probably a good idea to acquaint myself as much as possible with the complex, I don't really want to have to rely on other people as much as I did Lyra this morning. I leave the room again, the corridor is a little more full now, the other youngsters are waking up, preparing for the day, some are milling around in each others doorways. I can see why Lyra hadn't made any friends yet, everyone seems to have grouped off into their own little clans. The blonde boy from before is there, Koran was it? I think I'll avoid him for now, he looks unpleasant still. I move back out to the courtyard where Lyra and I parted ways, looking up the the ornamental pieces that sat on the roofs, there were repeating patterns, natural themes like branches, roots and leaves all carved into the stone. I absentmindedly sat on the fountain's edge as I observed the environment. The corner pieces of the roof seemed to be decorated with more twisting branches of stone. I had never seen any building like this before, so many buildings on Aleron were built for one purpose only, to mine, store and sort the minerals. This building was decorated, ornamental, made for practical reasons like shelter of course, but also to be beautiful. I wondered what it was originally built for.

"Looking for other things to climb?" a familiar voice said from beside me, I chuckled, looking over at the dark haired boy who was sat beside me, a small smile actually graced his face, it made him look much younger than the tired irritated Ben Solo of yesterday.

"You caught me, again." I joked, I'm not sure I've wanted to make someone laugh more than the stern boy sitting next to me. Maybe I'll set it as a goal while I'm here.

"You should pay more attention to where you're sitting, if you want to avoid me. I don't think you even realised I was here." he said.

"Why would I want to avoid you?" I smiled, looking over him. Today he wore light robes like me, unlike yesterday when they were darker. He held a book loosley in his hand. "I probably should learn to be more observant though. I guess I just feel safe here, it's a nice change." I looked away from him and back to the twisting branches in the sandy coloured stone. Ben didn't say anything, just nodded slightly.

"Solo." someone called from the other side of the court, we both looked up at the shout. A tall dark boy beckoned Ben to follow him "Master Alo wants to see you, now." he nodded at the boy before standing and nodding at me also, I gave him a small smile in return. As he walked off, I caught sight of Lyra coming into the courtyard to meet me.

"Medo!" she called, and I couldn't help but laugh as I stood to greet her. "I can stop calling you that if you want."

"It's ok, I've never had a nickname that wasn't "Oi you" or " Idiot", I kind of like it actually." I say with a grin. "Mess hall?"

"This way." She says as I follow her through a bunch of different corridors, I find myself wondering if Master Luke had rooms around here and what he would say to me when I met him tomorrow. Hopefully he would explain exactly why I was liberated from the mines to be brought here. I'm never going to be much of a fighter, yes I have strength, but the idea of hurting someone else doesn't appeal to me at all. I'm not sure how I'll be much use to anybody.

We entered the main mess hall a minute or so later, it was moderately sized, with twenty or so metal tables in neat lines in the centre. Droids with metal trays roamed around, clearing and bringing food to the new people who arrived. Lyra sat with confidence at one of the empty tables, the gentle hum of the other students all around us; it was oddly relaxing to me. I'm used to constantly being around at least 20 other people at any given time, lulled to sleep by their rustling and snoring. Last night was far too quiet, I wondered how I ever got to sleep.

A droid came over carrying two trays, setting them clunkily on the table. There seemed to be a lot of dry cracker type things and some blue milk, that had spilled all over the tray.

"Thank you." I said to the droid and Lyra held back a chuckle. "What?" I said looking back at her.

"You, thanking a droid. You're cute, but they don't have feelings." she continued to chuckle, dipping one of the crakers into her blue milk.

"Manners don't cost a thing, thats what Master Yanei always said." I reply quietly.

"Who's that? Your old trainer?" Lyra said, instantly interested.

"No, he was the master at the mine on Aleron."

"You worked in a mine?" She said, pointing with her eyes at my forearms. "That explains the muscles and your rough hands then."

"Occupational hazard." I said a little self consciously, looking at the rough skin on my palms.

"I didn't mean to tease you," Lyra said solemnly, trying to catch my eye "You're just not what I expected of a student here. You're polite to droids and funny, I'm not complaining." I look up to meet her eyes.

"I didn't really know what to expect when I came here either." I smiled lightly, we ate the rest of our food in a companionable silence before heading off to a meditation session in the field outside.

* * *

I remember thinking what a waste of time meditation was, but at the moment I would give anything to make my heart feel like it wasn't going to beat straight out of my chest and through the clean white armour I'd stolen. Ok, I'll give you a little run down on what's happening, I'm in a line of Stormtroopers about thirty by the looks of it, we just marched into the main hangar where a Upsilon-class command shuttle landed, and Captain Phasma and Kylo Ren emerge looking _terrifying_. All the other Stormtroopers are looking straight ahead, but I can't stop myself staring. He's got the mask on, its unnerving to say the least. They are about step off the ramp and walk past the line I'm in. My heart is going crazy, it sounds so loud in the helmet. Then he looks right at me, I can just tell; my heart stopped and so did everything else.

What have I gotten myself into?

 **A/N- Progression!**

 **BTW-Days of the week Primeday, Centaxday, Taungsday, Zhellday, Benduday. Poor loves don't seem to get a weekend! Also I read it as Me-doh not med-oh, but you can read it however you like.**

 **It was suggested that I have a schedule for this, but I just write when I feel like it. If I pressure myself to upload regularly, I won't want to. Stupid brain.**


	4. Chapter 4

Yep, meditation is not like I wanted it to be. The guy leading this session is a student who's had a lot of training before even coming here, but he's not particularly involved, just sits on a rock at edge of the field and expects us to get on with it. I sigh a little too loudly, falling backwards from my meditative pose, lying back on the grass. I can see a smirk appear on Lyra's face as she tries not to laugh. Littered all around the field were smooth flat stones that each student sat on, probably used to stop the light robes from getting grass stains, it's not as if there were there for comfort.

"Get up." Ben whispers from beside me, apparently he was forced to join in by Master Luke who is away on business until tomorrow. He's not happy to be on what he calls "Babysitting duty", he's all of a year older than me, the urge to roll my eyes was almost too much. I make no attempt to get up, just roll my head to my left to scowl at him. "Wate has the authority to punish you if you don't at least try." he said quietly, sneaking a look over to the older student on the rock. There is about 15 students of my level who have all arrived over the past six months, then five or six other students who have had some form of training before or they are considerably older (thirty or something) and are training to train new recruits like me. Turns out I'm one of the oldest in my group, therefore falling into a weird in between place where I have the age but no skill. Lyra's three years younger than me, but looks practically the same.

"Anything is more interesting than this. I don't even understand what I'm meant to be doing!" I whisper back, stretching my legs out from their folded position with a frustrated huff. Ben shakes his head, he looks irritated, but the smile creeping onto the corners of his mouth tell me he's also amused.

"It's only been an hour." he tried to reason. An hour!? I sit up again, looking around at the other pupils who seem to at least be doing something other than sitting daydreaming; that's what I've been doing for the last hour. I'm so used to being on my feet, suddenly sitting in my ass doing nothing seems a huge waste of time.

"How do you just switch your brain off?" he considers this for a moment, before shrugging unhelpfully and closing his eyes once again.

"Master Luke is much better at explaining," Lyra whispers to my right, her eyes still closed. "It'll be better next time, just at least look like you're trying." I sigh again, crossing my legs and closing my eyes. A thousand thoughts bounce off the back of my eyelids and I feel my eyebrows knit together in frustration. All I know is i'm supposed to clear my mind somehow, or feel the flow of the force around me? Ben shuffles a little next to me. I'm suddenly so aware of his presence next to me, even though he's easily two meters from me, he may as well be sitting with his shoulder touching mine. How am I supposed to clear my mind when I can't even control my own meandering thoughts?

"Think about that feeling, when you climbed the tower yesterday." I kept my eyes closed, but I knew it was him. His voice was so calm, I'd never heard it sound like that before; there had always been a kind of tenseness in his voice that I hadn't realised until it was gone. "That feeling when you spread your arms out and laughed at the sky." He sounded so close I wondered if he was somehow speaking in my mind, either that or he had moved to speak right up close to me. I opened my eyes, he was where he was before, sitting exactly the same, maybe his smile had grown just a little.

I let out a long breath, stretched my back up straight, closing my eyes once again. Letting my mind go back to last night, remembering the feeling when I reached the top, the bright burn of satisfaction as my muscles strained and how the low sun still felt warm on my skin.

"Eiddwen." my mind jolted a little as I heard my name being called. I must have zoned out, or maybe I'd fallen asleep and was snoring in the middle of the field.

"Jessa?" that was Lyra's voice. I opened my eyes to see only Lyra and the older student in the field with me.

"What did you see?" Wate asked immediately, I looked up at him, he was the same boy that called for Ben before breakfast. What did he mean see? I thought about a memory, it wasn't like I'd had a vision.

"Um," I say a little distractedly, "The sun and the old tower." I look over the field and see the top of the tower from behind the wooden huts. I was still a little confused about where everyone had gone, I looked around but saw no one from the session. Lyra saw my expression and smiled.

"The session is over Jessa, you were sitting still for three hours." well that doesn't sound like me at all, it had felt like a couple of minutes at most.

"Master Luke will be pleased. Going from "Anything is more interesting than this" to feeling something of the force around you. It's progress. " he nodded in approval.

"Thanks?" I reply sheepishly, I was being a little childish before, but this guy was giving me far to much credit, I'd just zoned out for three hours. Unless that was what meditating was meant to be?

"If you don't try, you'll never succeed." Wate said before walking away. He sounded like a walking talking holiday holo card but I understood all the same.

"C'mon, let's grab some lunch." Lyra said, holding out a hand to help me up, like she did this morning. As we walked to the mess hall, I found myself wondering how she'd faired when meditating, considering Lyra had already been at the academy a month.

"Did you find it that frustrating when you first came here?" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied honestly "to be truthful, I still haven't got the hang of it. I lost concentration once and smashed a window a few weeks ago. Master Luke didn't blame me, but I've never quite got back to the point of feeling the force like that." she looked intently at the texture of the stone under her boots as she spoke, before looking up at me and laughing shyly. "Maybe I just don't want to break anything else." I chuckled, wanting to ask more about it, but sensing it wasn't a topic she didn't want to go into.

We ate lunch, some sort of rice and vegetables, before Lyra got up.

"When Master Luke gets back tomorrow, he'll assess you and decide what you should focus on in the afternoons. I've got to go to library, but I guess you're free to do whatever. "

"Ok, thanks. See you later I guess." I smiled as she left the mess hall. I was at least slightly comforted knowing that maybe Master Luke had plans for me, for now I guess I'll explore a little…

* * *

To be perfectly honest, part of me wanted to explore the Supremacy when I first got here, thankfully the rest of me had some self preservation instincts, and knew not to go snooping around...yet. The Stormtrooper shtick was only meant to be a temporary deal, a Trojan horse or sorts. I've been here for two weeks.

Two weeks ago, I had caught up to the Supremacy whilst it was orbiting Cantonica; a planet where both the Resistance and the First Order seem to get their ships and weapons. I grabbed a Stormtrooper who was straggling a little too much behind the pack, dragging him into an alley, somehow knocking him out and swapping clothes without anyone noticing. That felt like a year's supply of good luck in a couple of minutes. I jogged to catch up with the rest, getting what I could only assume was a disapproving glare from the Stormtrooper to my right as he shook his head in silence. It seemed the one I was impersonating wasn't very reliable, I wasn't entirely sure if that would work to my benefit in the long run. We marched, as close to in sync as Stormtroopers are able, to a warehouse on the outskirts of the city of Canto Bight. Obviously I wasn't psyched at the idea of sneaking onto the most feared ship in the known universe; but Canto Bight was the kind of hateful place where the rich got more wealthy and more drunk the longer they spent there, (at the expense of their souls by the looks of it). Anything is better than this place.

The warehouse was full of crates, we were ordered to move a good portion of them onto floating vehicles to be transported back to the ship. I guess they were weapons or supplies? If I had accepted to join the Resistance when they'd asked me, I'd probably be morally obligated to destroy these or something, but I told them I wasn't the slightest bit interested in joining their war, and now here I am speaking on to the bad guys ship ready to wage my own. There was a very stern, redheaded man watching over the proceedings, so I fought the sudden urge to facepalm at my own stupidity.

In the end it was all about my friend. If he was on the Supremacy, he could be hurt or being tortured, starved or something? Who knows, maybe the Resistance were planning a rescue mission and we could get a lift to safety.

A girl can hope.

 **A/N - Yes, you can.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five.

Zhellday. Master Luke would be back today, so I was up before dawn full of jittery nervousness. This was the day I would get some answers about why he chose to bring me here. I did a few laps of the outside wall, to be perfectly honest it was more of an excited/nervous skip; after getting changed I also took a couple of hours to continue exploring the buildings inside the walls before heading to breakfast. I made sure to commit the rooms I found so far to memory so I wouldn't have to ask anyone for directions. As well as the droid filled kitchens, bathrooms and medical bays; I found several different training rooms, varying in size. One particular room was very large, and could easily fit everyone in the complex inside it. It's floor to ceiling windows let in the morning sun as it rose from the ground, whilst affording a beautiful view of a small garden that was otherwise hidden from view. The garden was full of wild flowers and trees, it was so different to anything I had seen, there wasn't exactly a need for wild flowers on Aleron. There didn't seem to be any door out to it, I decided I had to hop a wall to visit it when I had time. Looking back around the tall ceilinged room, there seemed to be an unusual amount of rocks littering one end, all neatly piled from largest to smallest. They were smooth, like the ones in meditation yesterday, but not as flat, perfectly balanced on top of one another.

The room next to that was much smaller, it seemed to be used mainly for storage. There were racks of wooden staffs, some sort of training droids, protective padding for the chest and even some helmets. What caught my attention most was the locked cabinets, the doors were solid and looked strong, that made me ever more curious of what the contents was. Lyra had told me Zhellday mornings were for physical training, part of me hoped that I wasn't going to spend all morning on my ass. Assuming of course that physical training meant fighting, the rest of the students had months worth of practice on me. That, and I had the attention span of a newborn wookie, it probably wasn't going to be the most fun morning.

I moved out of the storage cupboard and back in to the hallway, it was a partially covered corridor where one wall consisted of a row of tall archway windows looking inward at a small courtyard, like the one by the personal rooms. This one was empty of people currently, everyone of my group was exercising or still in bed. The older students would be having breakfast about know so I felt ok having a look around the complex, as long as no one thought I was snooping. Surely someone would have told me if there was any restricted areas, this was essentially a school so there wouldn't be anything dangerous. Right? The archwayed corridor snaked left around the courtyard, where I found a room containing holo communication units; this looked to be the place where students could call their families and friends back home. I closed the door without going in, I didn't need to be acquainted with that room, there was no one to call.

Walking out into the open once more, I looked up to see the large building with the domed roof; I had seen it on my first evening, but had never been this close to it. From afar it had looked cylindrical, but as I got closer, I saw it was actually made up of many straight flat sides leading all the way up to the base of the dome. The sun was slowly rising, I knew it would be time for breakfast soon but my curiosity was peaked. I couldn't see inside the building from the outside, there were windows, but they were far too high up. I moved across the sandy gravel and around to the front of the building, there was a small set of stone steps leading up to a single large door with a brass handle. I pushed experimentally but the door didn't budge, I looked around seeing the smaller buildings around me that could have a good vantage point to see in through one of the lower windows. I could easily climb one of them and see inside, but I had a feeling in my gut that I shouldn't. As curious as I was, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something powerful in there that I shouldn't be anywhere near.

It had to be nearly seven by now and my stomach was asking for food, so I took a route I hoped would get me back, taking a small thin corridor that actually went under the ground of the complex (originally meant for servants I assumed) back to where the kitchens were and to towards the mess. A decent amount of people were already in their seats having food brought to them. I looked around the hall for Lyra but couldn't spot her, I did however spot a head of dark hair at the back of the room that I recognised instantly as belonging to Ben Solo. I was about to move further into the room to sit with him at the otherwise empty table, when someone grabbed my forearm.

"Don't sit on his table." I turned to see Lyra looking over at Solo with a serious warning expression.

"Why?" I asked, my brows furrowing.

"You shouldn't be friends with _him_ , there's something off about him, he's dangerous." she looked to me, still holding my arm.

"What are you saying?" I couldn't understand, Ben was a little stern, closed off even, but not dangerous like Lyra was saying. Not that I had seen anyway.

"You know he's meant to be in the complex with the rest of us right? Yes, he's a bit older but he shouldn't be in the huts, it's like he's separated off from the rest, for our own safety." I pulled my arm out of her grip.

"Are you saying he's threatened someone, hurt people?" I asked, keeping my voice hushed. She let out a small sigh, taking a moment to answer.

"No one likes him." She scowled. She was dancing around my question, her eyes imploring me to believe her without any proof.

"You're being ridiculous Lyra, that isn't proof. He's not dangerous, he hasn't done anything! Who's been saying all this stuff?" this just sounded like the superstitious whispers of teenagers.

"Everyone." she whispered conspiratorially. Of course, that's all the proof I needed, he's clearly an axe murderer(!) I felt the gentle bubble of anger beginning to rise in my chest as she glared over to the back of the room again. Who was she to think she had the right to judge someone she didn't even know. Worse than that to try and worry other people without any kind of evidence.

"You can't be serious." I said, stepping in front of her glare to make direct eye contact with her, "Whoever is saying this, is jealous or has something against him and is it making things up."

"Ok, then why doesn't anyone sit with him? Why does he spend some nights alone in the training room?" Lyra replied, raising her eyebrows expectantly, continuing when I didn't speak. "I've been here longer than you and I haven't ever seen him with friends, he's always on his own unless his uncle tells him to join in a class, like yesterday."

"His uncle?"

"Master Luke. His Parents are Han Solo and Princess Leia!" she said, looking at me like I should know who they are, she sighed irritably at my blank expression, "He should be the top student, basking in the glory his family gives off, they are some of the most famous good guys in the entire galaxy, they exploded the Death Star for goodness sake!" Lyra exclaimed, her voice getting louder despite herself.

"I feel the need to remind you, that I spent most of my life in a mine. They didn't exactly have history lessons and storytelling was punishable by whipping." I shrugged, my own irritation with this bull reaching critical levels of Nope. "Besides, Ben doesn't strike me as the 'basking in someone else's glory' type. So why don't you and your little conspiracy theory friends back the hell off, and get some original thoughts." I stepped back from her before turning around to move into the mess hall, leaving her with a glower on her face.

Great, well done Jessa. A bridge built and burnt to the ground within two days. From now on I couldn't rely on Lyra, I had probably been doing to it too much as it were. I just didn't understand, what changed between yesterday and today? Yesterday Lyra was kind, easy to laugh and helpful; but just now, she was irritable, accusatory and practically paranoid. I'm sure in her head she was just trying to help, to warn me about something that clearly worried her. I guess I'll just have to find out the truth myself.

I walked to the back of the room and plonked myself down on the metal bench opposite Ben. My anger subsided when I noticed that he was in fact fast asleep, food uneaten and his head propped up on his hand. He looked exhausted for some reason, how could anyone call this boy dangerous? I noticed his breathing changed a little when a kitchen droid unceremoniously dropped a tray of breakfast food in front of me.

"Thank you." I said to the droid as it retreated back into the kitchen, I looked back to the boy opposite me "and sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Staring at people whilst they sleep is socially unacceptable, or so I hear." he said sleepily, not bothering to open his eyes.

"I've been here less ten seconds, calm down." I chuckled quietly, rolling my eyes. "Did you not sleep well or something?"

"Why are you here?" he cracked open one eye.

"Breakfast." I said, holding up what looked like a nutritional biscuit up as proof.

"Its seven?" he said, both eyes opening now, blinking the sleep out as he looked around the room filling up with younger students.

"About ten past." I confirmed, biting off half of the biscuit. He stood suddenly, muttering something about being late, running his hand through his hair as he stalked swiftly out of the the mess hall. "Ok, Bye." I said quietly with a mouth full of crumbs. I narrowed my eyes a little, I had a lot of questions, maybe Master Luke could answer some of them.

After breakfast I made my way to the field where I hoped the others were. I still wore my light coloured robes, I could always run back to my room if I was meant to wearing something else. I thought about asking someone as I walked up to the group of people congregated on the grass, instantly detering the thought as I saw Lyra and Koran (the mean looking blonde from yesterday morning) muttering to each other. Despite the fact Lyra said she hadn't made any friends since coming to the academy, she seemed happy enough talking with Koran towards the front of the group, three guesses where the rumours from this morning's bickering came from. Koran shot me a look that hid absolutely none of his disdain for me as I approached the group. I lifted my chin at him, conveying I would take none of his bullshit, he turned back to Lyra and I found myself glad I couldn't hear what they were saying.

"Young Eiddwen," a voice said from beside me, I looked around to see the kind, bearded face of Master Luke. To say I was relieved to see him was an understatement. "It's good to see you arrived safely." I smiled in return, not really knowing what to say. He brought with him a floating rack of wooden training staffs like I had seen in the storage cupboard this morning. I sighed, I could practically feel the bruises already.

* * *

I don't really see the point of the Stormtrooper armour. What exactly does it protect against? Blasters? Nope. Sabers? Definitely not. Even bruises from punches at Captain Phasma's training sessions couldn't be prevented by the stupid things. Ken, I mean KN8214, made himself my unofficial babysitter and has been keeping me in line since I snuck on the Supremacy from the cargo ship on Cantonica. Two days in, and I don't think I've spoken more than three mumbled words in an attempt to keep myself under the radar. At some point I've got to actually search the ship, or ask someone about Ben, it's why I'm here after all. For now I'm getting the scope of this place, holy shit its big, 60 kilometers wingspan. Thanks to a sneaky little look at the ships schematics on a holo computer I narrowed down the possible locations. There were five different prisoner holds all over the ship, each very large in themselves and split up into many different rooms. I haven't heard any rumors about Ben being here, I'm just praying the information I was given wasn't just a cruel joke made to make me look like an idiot.

Its designated night time, day three on the Supremacy. The lights are low, I'm meant to be in my bunk, but instead I'm off to take a look at the nearest prisoner hold. I march my way down several long corridors keeping my head straight forward, apparently there are over Two million personnel on this ship, who's going to notice one little Stormtrooper?

 **A/N- Bless Jessa. To think if she'd just been more social, she'd know the truth about Ben Solo and wouldn't be in this situation at all. It's the thought that counts?**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six.

Turns out, practical training is just code for "hit Jessa with sticks for an entire morning." Master Luke was patient, he knew of course that I was months behind everyone else in terms of training, but he didn't seem bothered by the number of times I was knocked on my ass.

"Come on Eiddwen." my partner sighed as I hit the floor again. His name was Tarkan and he had zero patience. One of us was meant to be trying a basic attack move, whilst the other pulled a defensive counter move. He knocked me down over and over, expecting me to magically become better at defending myself each time. Safe to say that didn't happen.

"If you would just give me a chance..." I muttered from the grass.

"There is no quarter in battle." he replied, poking at me with the end of his wooden training staff. I used my own to help lever myself back onto my feet, before he knocked it clean out of my grasp, sending me stumbling back and the staff to fly across the grass. I straightened up with my hands clenched into fists, taking a steadying breath, my irritation reaching critical mass.

"Call your staff to you Jessa." Master Luke said, walking over to us from another pair of students.

"I don't know how to sir, I haven't learnt that yet." I replied, looking to where the staff fell about 3 meters away. It would be simple enough to just step over and pick it up. Tarkan smirked at my ignorance and I found myself looking forward to the day I could knock him down a peg or two.

"You have the ability to sense the things around you, using the force. Although you may not of realised it, you have been doing it your whole life. I felt your acute sensitivity on Aleron, that is why you are here Jessa. You may not want to fight, and you may not ever have to; but I would like you to at least learn how to defend yourself if it becomes necessary." I look to him, nodding in understanding. There was a calm but powerful aura around Master Luke, I had felt it last time I met him, it made me calm in turn. I looked back to the staff on the ground, really looked at it, noticing the grain of the wood, the dirt and scratches, the way it was more worn around where hands had held it.

"Good." I heard Master Luke say "Now, call it towards your hand. Let the force that flows through you and the staff, becoming joined." I tried, I did try. What Master Luke was saying made perfect sense, and yet I couldn't quite get the staff to move. An impatient huff from beside me broke my concentration completely, I looked over at Tarkan raising my palms to the sky.

"I'm sorry," I said defiantly, taking a step towards him. " Yes, I am new to this, and yes it's going to take time and practice. But you…" I point a finger at him. "...being an asshole, funnily enough, is not helping." he smirked again, making me want to punch him in the face even more.

"Alright, take a breath. I realise this is frustrating." Master Luke interjected, " For the rest of the session and this afternoon to continue to try and call the staff into your hand. Tarkan, come and swap with Lyra and Koran." So for the rest of the afternoon it was just me and the staff, it didn't seem interested at all in the concept of movement as a whole. I ended up kicking it further away from myself in frustration, seeing Koran laugh behind his hand didn't help calm me down. After four hours I'd practically given up, sitting on the grass next to my staff and trying to learn moves by watching the others spar. Now realising how much I _really_ have to catch up on.

Suddenly I get the feeling that someone is watching me, it's not an ominous feeling in the slightest, it actually feels warm and comforting. I look around, my eyes falling on the tall watchtower by the outer wall. I need to climb it, I just know it; I can call my staff from there. Without thinking, I'm on my feet and running towards the tower, In a minute I'm there, the next I'm scaling the outer wall and soon enough I'm back where I was two days ago. I take a deep breath, feeling the moss under my hands and the midday sun in the bright blue sky, at peace. The stresses melted away from my shoulders, my aching and surely bruised back. I thought about the staff, I couldn't see it from here it was hidden by the grass; so I pushed my senses out into the world and closed my eyes, trusting the force. I felt the grass, the moisture of the earth underneath it, some ants that were attempting to climb up the staff that lay in the greenery.

"Come join me up here staff, it's much nicer than down there." I chuckled quietly, opening my eyes just in time to see the long wooden staff barreling it's way towards my now outstretched hand. I caught it with a strong grip, marveling at it, twirling it around my head before resting it on my knees. "And you didn't feel like doing that the past four hours huh?" I mock scolded the piece of wood, folding my arms over it and rested my chin on my arms. I closed my eyes once again and couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"Looks like we have to conduct classes from abandoned watchtowers from now on." a calm voice teased from the ground under the tower, it was Master Luke. I looked over to the students on the field, they seemed to be packing up, some standing and chatting and some moving back towards the main complex.

"Looks like it." I agreed with a awkward laugh.

"This place means something to you?" He asked, I put my knees down and looked over the edge of the tower roof to see him a little better.

"I feel calm up here for some reason? It was one of the first palaces I visited when I got here." Luke nods, and beckons me to get down. I dropped the staff off the building to the side so I wouldn't hit Master Luke.

"Ben mentioned a student who had taken to climbing, it makes sense now I see it's you." he said once my feet were on the ground. "Your life has been in the mines, climbing for survival, relying on your strength. It's instinctual at this point." I nod, fetching my staff and returning to walk in step with him back to the field.

"I can't climb that tower everytime I want to feel the force though." I said, putting my staff back in the rack with the others. A few students milled around, clearly waiting to talk to Master Luke; he waved them away, saying something about them all going to lunch. I few of them scowled at me as they left.

"You're right, but you can remember the feeling, the memory, and use it a bridge of sorts to access the connection to the force you feel when you are up there." he seemed to think for a moment before continuing. "Perhaps, it was wrong of me to assume you could catch up, when you have so little experience. I will work with you this afternoon, and with the right mindset by this evening you should be able to call the staff to your hand whilst you are both on the ground.

"Thank you, I would appreciate that." I smiled.

"Whilst my searching for new students may be over for now, I think it would be wise to not rely on my teachings alone." He said as we walked back towards the main complex, " I suggest you find an older student, one with more experience than yourself, to help guide you through the coming months and catch you up to the others. Perhaps using one or two extra afternoons this week to train."

"An older student?" The only ones I had met so far were Wate and Ben, and I couldn't see either of them being willing to waste their afternoons on me. "Aren't they busy in the afternoons?"

"Some more than others, yes. But if you find someone who has the time and the inclination, you shouldn't hesitate to take on some added experience." he stopped just inside the entrance to the mess hall, having walked with me all the way to lunch but not seeming to want to eat there himself. "I would suggest my nephew Ben, it would be good for him to take his mind of his troubled thoughts, but I also recommend caution with him and his temper. In the end it's up to you and whoever you choose."

"Thank you for your help Master Luke." I said, bowing with respect like I had seen others do. He replied with a smile and a incline of the head.

"I will take a few hours this afternoon to assist you, and perhaps a few hours over the next month in addition to the classes with the others of course, to get you up to speed. After that the journey is yours."

"I will try my best sir." he smiled, before turning and leaving.

I sat down at an empty table in the mess hall, thinking about everything that Luke had said, lost in thought about his theories using the memory of the watchtower as a entrance into the connection to the force. Wasn't that what Ben had suggested yesterday, and hadn't it worked? My heart filled with hope for the afternoon.

"What the hell are you doing Eiddwen?" A voice broke me out of my thoughts, Koran of all people had taken the seat opposite me at the table. A tray of food had appeared in front of me at some point and I was absent mindedly eating a piece of fruit.

"I'm sorry?" confused by his presence and the angry look that seemed to be permanently etched onto his features.

"You, you're distracting Master Luke from those of us to actually have a chance of becoming Jedi. Jedi that will be useful to the galaxy." He spoke as if this was a matter of life and death, I suppose one day it might be, but for now there was relative peace in the galaxy.

"... and you have more of a chance of being useful than me?" I asked skeptically.

"I could take you down before you even picked up your staff, which wouldn't even be hard seeing as that alone takes you five hours." he sneered. It was _four_ hours thanks very much.

"In a world where fighting is the only thing that matters, I'd agree." Thankfully that's not the prime objective of every person in the galaxy.

"Good," said Koran, under the impression that he's somehow won this conversation, "Then tell Master Luke you don't want him to waste his time training you this afternoon or ever, so that the rest of us can be the future Luke Skywalkers.". Talking to this idiot was a waste of _my_ time. Who the heck did this kid think he was? Surely we all deserved an equal opportunity to flourish as force users, not just the ones who wanted to be some kind of galaxy saving heroes.

"I'll level with you Koran." he raised his chin, listening. " You stop being such a bucket head and start thinking with your brain instead of your lightsaber, and I'll consider it." He spluttered as I stood up taking my tray to the table behind me. A bunch of older students I'd never seen before where sitting there, "Don't mind me." I smiled at their confused faces. I suppressed a chuckle as I heard Koran storm off behind me, back to the other students. Their table instantly erupted in a torrent of whispers, I rolled my eyes.

"You're the new kid right?" one of the older students asked, I looked up from my food and met her eyes. "I'm Kareen, this is Yav and Gaila, you already know Wate and Ben just left to talk to Master Luke but I think you sort of met him the other day too." She said, pointing to each of them in turn. "We're all the older Padawans training to be Jedi Knights."

"Nice to meet you all." I said, smiling at Wate who gave me a friendly wave, as his mouth was full of rice.

"That Koran kid giving you a hard time?" Said the ginger Yav, he glared at Koran, there was clearly some sort of story there.

"Nothing I can't handle, you don't like him much then?" I said, grabbing a fork and digging into my own rice, I hadn't realised how hungry I was.

"Understatement. He's too up his own ass." Yav said, I tried and failed to hold back a snort of laughter. "He had the nerve to ask me if he could train with Master Luke instead of me when he'd only been here a month. Couldn't hold a staff to save his life."

"To be fair to him he's improved a lot in the last year." Said Kareen, "I'm tutoring him now, he's an ass but he's got skill. Unfortunately he knows it."

"Do all of you tutor the younger students?" I asked, interested.

"Yav and I take smaller groups most afternoons in the training room or on the field." said Gaila, tying her long hair up in two buns at the nape of her neck. "Wate and Kareen have their own pupils and will probably continue training them after they become Jedi Knights."

"If." Kareen corrected "If we become Knights." Yav snorted in disbelief.

"Oh please, if anyone on this table has a chance of succeeding first time it's you Kareen." he said, and she waved his complement away modestly.

"What about Ben?" I ask, thinking about what Luke said earlier.

"Hon, you don't want Ben Solo as your tutor. He's more of the lone wolf type." Gaila said with a kind smile. I've never been called hon before, my heart felt warm and fuzzy. These people seemed so open, so different to the other people at the academy.

"He helped me meditate the other day, Master Luke said it might help him too." I replied, Gaila raised her hands in surrender, not wanting to continue to argue.

The rest of the lunch break was filled with talk of the academy and all their experiences so far, most of them were in their twenties, Wate was the eldest at 31 and was taking the trials to become a Jedi Knight within the next month. I learned all about traditional jedi culture and how Master Luke's academy was a little different but generally followed the same principles. Apparently some of the students in my group had already made a trip to Ilum to collect their own kyber crystals and were building their lightsabers with the help of Alo when he comes to the academy. Of course all of the older students had theirs too.

* * *

I could really do with my lightsaber in this situation. I'm so used to having it strapped to my hip within easy reach, I feel naked without it, despite wearing all this armour. At the moment it is tied to my abdomen with scraps of material from my old shirt, thankfully hidden by the hard white chest piece, but not easy to access at all. I couldn't exactly leave it behind on Cantonica. Worse comes to worst I'll summon my saber through the armour like a creepy chest bursting parasite. I'm really not a great fighter, I rely on my environment more than anything to solve whatever problem I've gotten myself into, but even I can take on a stormtrooper if I had to.

It's night hours for the ship, and the corridors are much emptier than usual. I'm off to search the nearest of the prisoner holding areas. What are the chances of Ben magically being in the first one I check? Probably a billion to one, maybe less. I make it down three corridors, following my mental map of the area I looked up earlier, then I get a weird look from a BB droid. The dark ball shaped droid starts following me, beeping, I'm finding myself wishing I'd learned binary. Thankfully after a moment it seems to lose interest and takes a left turn when I take a right. The holding area is just up ahead and to the left.

"MED0541." someone calls from behind me just as I'm about to turn. Wait? That is my stormtrooper designation? The universe is mad. Oh wait, maybe thats stands for medical? "What are you doing out of your assigned quarters?" The voice continues, I realise now I should have turned around straight away, stupid distractible brain. I turn, facing the unmistakable form of General Hux.

Well shit.

 **A/N - Out of your depths much Medo?**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven

I met with Master Luke on the field, the staff rack was still floating just above the grass, but otherwise it was empty of people. I guess the other students who are training do it in the indoor training room.

"Good afternoon." he said as I approached. "I hope your lunch was satisfactory, you're going to need the energy.

"Good afternoon Master Luke, I sat with the older Padawans and they told me a bit about the history of the Jedi and about their experiences here. They're all very nice." I reply with a smile.

"I'm glad, perhaps you have more in common with them as you are the eldest in your current group. Anything you can learn from them is worth learning, they each have their own stories and training experiences _before_ coming here."

"It would be great to learn from them, maybe I could join in with Gaila or Yav's groups some afternoons?"

"I think you would benefit more from a one on one kind of learning, but if it doesn't work out then yes, that would be a good course of action. For now, let's focus on on the present, not the future." He lifted a staff from the rack and held it level in one hand, before pulling out knife from his belt and cutting two lines around one end.

"It's yours now, keep it with you, train with it." Luke held it out to me, "Feel it's weight, its texture, get to know it. I think the best way for you to train is to have a connection to the items you're using. You have a connection to the watchtower, that allowed you to connect to the force. I want you to do the same thing with the staff, spar with it in lessons, take it on your runs in the morning if you want."

"I see, if the staff and I have a connection through the force, like a Jedi does with a lightsaber, it should be easier to call it to me?"

"Precisely. For now we'll do some basics in sparring. I'll teach you how to hold it correctly, to use its weight and balance to your advantage in a fight." I spin the staff experimentally in my hand before bracing my feet apart and holding the staff in front of me with both hands. " Set your feet a little farther apart, give yourself a more solid foundation." I did as he said. " Good. Now hit me."

"Wha? I can't..." Master Luke smiled knowingly at my spluttering astonishment, and I got the feeling that it wasn't going to be as easy as swing and hit.

"Hit me. Or at least try. I just want to assess what you may know already or what your instincts tell you" he sounds sure enough, so I take a deep breath and step forward keeping my feet planted and swinging the staff around like a bat, aiming for his shoulder, he ducked easily. I continued stepping forward and swinging in different ways, from the top down, an uppercut, a lunge to the stomach, a swipe to the knees; because if I learned anything from the skirmishing in the mines, variety was key. However, each attempt was easily dodged by Luke. After a minute he held his hand up to signal a stop.

"Good, there is a lot to improve on, but your basic instinct on attacks are there. Lets see how your defensive instincts are." He spoke calmly, as he brought another staff from the rack to his hand. "Ready?" No, no NO! Not ready at all!

"Sure." I set my feet and held the staff in both hands in front of me, as ready as I knew how to be. Master Luke moved fast, bringing his staff directly down onto mine, nearly knocking it out of my hands. Before I knew it the staff was swinging back around to my left, I moved the staff just in time to block it before it hit my ribs, then to the right as Luke used the other end of his staff to mirror the attack. Then before I knew it my legs were being swept out from under me by the knees as Luke took advantage of my unguarded left side, I landed on the grass with an oof sound as the air left my lungs. More bruises for me.

"Not bad. You're not a natural fighter, but if my theory is right, you may not need to be." he held out a hand to help me up, which I accepted gratefully. Adrenaline coursed through me like it hadn't in a long while. "Call your staff." I looked around for it, remembering it had flown out of my hand somewhere behind me as I fell. I spotted it, and held my hand out trying to feel for it in the force like I had before. I sighed in frustration as it refused to move.

"Not to worry." Master Luke said with a comforting tone. I walked over and picked up the staff from the ground.

The next two hours were employed learning how to hold the staff correctly for different moves and how to stand. Also how to block all attacks that the other students had learnt, as well as a few basic attacks that could unbalance an opponent and give me the advantage. It was hard work, and my brain ached with all the new information, but Luke's unfalteringly calm approach made me feel like everything was under control. After a while we were able to complete a small volley of moves where I vaguely held my own, despite getting distracted several times and ending up on my ass. Master Luke suggested I tried a basic setting with the sparing droids in the smallest training room that was diagonally across the complex from the students rooms. In the end I was exhausted but happy, I felt like I had actually learned something. I promised to keep practicing calling my staff. Master Luke bowed to me and said I should go eat, I bowed in return thanking him.

Once I'd gotten to the mess hall for dinner I realised that I wasn't in the slightest bit hungry. I turned around as soon as I got in the door, making my way to the small training room Master Luke had mentioned. I followed his directions, skirting around the central domed building to the building diagonally opposite the rooms. The layout of the complex seemed to be comprised of four main buildings, with a central fountain courtyard inside each. These surrounded the large domed building, then a small inner wall between the buildings and the training field. It had all seemed so confusing a few days ago, now everything was starting to make sense. There was apparently a large section of the complex that I hadn't explored yet, for example in the building with the holo call room, there was a library and offices where Master Luke stayed and worked, he had mentioned it in the early afternoon just in case I had to contact him in an emergency.

In the end I found the training room where there were about ten robots in varying levels of destruction, grouped up at the side of the room. Some had missing arms, others had huge dents in the head and chest, others looked fairly new and only had a few scratches. They were all taller than I was, silver in colour. My theory was there were made from Mandalorian Iron so they were also Saber proof. I stood in the centre of the room and thought about what Master Luke said about getting to know staff, I spun the staff in my hands, over and over feeling the balance change as I moved my hands during the rotations. It was surprisingly satisfying turning the staff head over tail, switching sides and hands. It was made of a dark wood, darker and smoother where previous students had handled it repeatedly. What had Master Luke meant when he said that I might not have to be a fighter? Wasn't that kind of the point of the Jedi? Be a cool ninja warrior guy and hit bad guys with light sabers, unless you were the librarian I guess. I don't see the appeal of being stuck in one room all day at all. I stopped spinning the staff, throwing cautiously from hand to hand, feeling the weight. Full of questions, but content for the moment, I set my staff against the wall by the door before observing the droids closer.

"Good evening", I said out loud picking out one that had kept its arms but had many dents, and wheeled it forward to the centre of the small room. It had a similar weapon to my staff which apparently _was_ its left hand, its was metal though, like the rest of its body. I circled it, looking at the back for the controls. "Now, where is the " _Oh my stars, please don't hurt me!_ " setting that lets me off easy?"

"It doesn't have one." I looked over to the door to see Ben Solo leaning casually against the door frame. How long had he been there?

"Well there goes my hope of a bruise free evening." I laugh with a resigned sigh.

"Why are you here? I thought you trained with Luke earlier this afternoon?" Ben said, walking into the room, grabbing my staff on his way and twirling it artfully around in his hand. Show off. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yes, I did. But because I have a lot to catch up on, I thought I'd use my evening wisely. I'm the eldest of my group and yet know the least. Give me a test on rock mining and I'd have them all stumped, but this?" I motioned the droid up and down, shaking my head.

"Go on then." he said, holding out my staff to me and turning the droid to face me. Oh. he's planning to watch me get my ass kicked by a robot on the easiest setting, great. "I'm putting it on the lowest setting, but keep your wits about you, you picked the only droid in here with an attitude program." My eyebrows raised in disbelief as he flicked a switch on the back of the droid and it started walking towards me.

" _Prepared?"_ It asked, stepping forward once more to come within a few feet of me, unmoving. I looked around its tall form and shot a questioning look at Ben who gestured for me to answer the droid before crossing his arms with a poorly hidden smile.

"Um, Yes?" My staff was at my side as I answered, not prepared at all. The droid wasted no time closing the gap between us instantly and raising his metal staff ready to strike. I staggered backwards to regain time to ready myself, bringing my staff up to block the metal that was now swinging its way towards my head. Easy setting my ass! I felt the vibrations from the strike reverberate through my arms, making the aching feeling more intense than before.

" _Oh please_. _Are you even trying?_ " the droid mocked me as I landed a solid strike on what would be the stomach if it had one. What were the weak points of this thing anyway? The tricks for getting the upper hand that Master Luke had taught me most certainly didn't apply here. It was bipedal though, it had knees similar to humans, the principal was the same right?

"Oh, you want to sass me, denty?" I said, sliding between its legs as it prepared for a high overhead smash. I brought my staff around as hard as I could manage, aiming for the back of its knees, like Master Luke had taught me. It staggered forward a few paces as my staff bounced off the metal and flew out of my hand across the room. The droid's torso turned 180 as it regained its balance, now walking backwards towards me. I was screwed, on the floor, with no weapon and it was winding up for a big old attack.

"Your staff Jessa!" Ben called from behind me, maybe he even sounded a little concerned. Not as worried as I was, that metal pole was going to hurt like hell if I didn't do something about it. I held out my hand, taking a breath and trusting the staff, trusting the force. Just as the droid started bringing its weapon down towards me, I felt a tingling in my hands and within a second the staff was gripped tightly in front of me, the metal staff struck hard.

"Stand down." Ben said authoritatively as the droid wound up for another go, it made a noise similar to an exasperated sigh before stepping back and bringing the staff to its side. I let my arms drop and let out a relieved sigh. My arms ached like I'd been standing on them all day, that droid definitely hadn't been pulling its punches.

"I can't believe it." I laughed giddily from the floor.

"That you lost?" Ben said, stepping forward and extending an arm to me looking disbelieving.

"No, _that_ I can believe, thanks for the save by the way. The staff actually came when I called it!" I accepted his arm. Grabbing each others wrists, he pulled me to my feet with ease.

"Be thankful it did, or you evening wouldn't have been even slightly bruise-free." he said, I chuckled looking over to the droid who somehow seemed irritated.

"Pretty sure you're lucky, I only seem to get the hang of this stuff when you're there. I should keep you around." I joked, but it was kind of true. Ben didn't seem to know what to say to that so he just walked over to the wall with the practice staffs and grabbed one.

"You spar?" he asked, turning the staff once at his side with confidence and control.

"If you count flailing around and hoping for the best sparing? Then yes, it's actually my speciality." I grinned, he raised his eyebrow, getting in a ready stance. "Oh, right now?" I felt the cheeky smile slip off my face.

"Let's see how you do against a real person." he challenged, his voice was calm but there was a little glint of something in his eyes. I readied up too, he stood, waiting for me to make the first attack. Fighting the droid was one thing, but what if I hurt him? What would Master Luke say about me accidentally breaking his nephew? Apparently I hesitated a little too long for Ben's liking, because a moment later his staff was winging its way towards my left arm. I guess patience isn't really his strong suit.

"You know, it's rude to hit a woman." I managed as I parried his blow, aiming my own to his open side, he blocked it easily spinning staff right out of my hand.

"Don't let my attacks land then." he said with a little grin. I held my hand out, bringing the staff back and twisting it over a few times before readying up again. This time I didn't hesitate, I went straight for a wide two handed hit, left first the right. They were blocked easily, but I had the feeling Ben was working a little bit harder than before. I kept up the barrage, sometimes changing my mind at the last minute so he couldn't read me as easily. We kept up a volley of blows for a few minutes before I made a stupid mistake, extending my attack too far. Ben grabbed my right forearm with his right hand, dragging me forwards completely off balance and toppling forward. At the last moment he swung me around, allowing my arm to slide through his grip before grabbing my wrist just before I hit the ground. My heart was beating like crazy, adrenaline coursing through me.

"Not bad, considering you know absolutely nothing." Ben said as he pulled me to my feet, stepping back when he seemed to realised we were only a few inches apart.

"Not absolutely nothing…" I said, mock offended. " I nearly hit you!" He shook his head. "Nearly?"

"Not even close." He smiled, an actual smile, like it was endearing how bad I was. This was as close to relaxed as I had ever seen him (apart from when he was passed out at breakfast); maybe fighting was the one thing he felt he had any control over. I thought about what Master Luke had said about Ben being my tutor, I guess this was the best time to ask.

"You know you could make a half decent sparring partner out of me if you trained me yourself. I don't think sassy tin man over there is going to be any use to me." I chuckled, rolling my eyes at the robot in the corner whilst mentally crossing everything crossable.

* * *

It's funny how memories of those rare little smiles got me through some of the shitty times on the Supremacy. As you'll remember, General Hux caught me sneaking around, and I'm standing there like an idiot not saying anything.

" Um…" Is about all I manage to eloquently say as the black clad nightmare steps forward.

"You have no business being near these cells MED0541. Return to your assigned quarters or face punishment." he said shortly, I didn't doubt his words. I just sort of nodded and walked away as quickly as I could. No point blowing my cover before I even found my friend. At least I didn't run into Kylo Ren, that might of ended up with a lightsaber between my ribs. Actually wasn't he off ship at the moment?

I had started to go back to the bunks, but then I got distracted by my thoughts, missing a turn I should have taken back to the Stormtrooper areas. Instead I found myself walking into a large empty room, the walls are draped in red material and after a thin bridge. In the centre of the room there was a giant throne sat on a slanted plinth. This has to be snokes throne room, the other Stormtroopers talked about it as if they had only seen it through cracks in the door. Snoke had his own personal warriors, the Elite Praetorian Guard or something? Scary red guys. I definitely shouldn't be in here. I start to step backwards back along the suspended walkway towards the door, when I bumped into something solid. By the way my heart sank, I know it isn't just the door frame.

"Stormtroopers are not allowed in the Supreme leaders throne room. This offence is punishable by death." The voice said, I turned quickly to see a guard dressed head to toe in red armour. Screaming internally I try to think of something to say to get me out of this mess. Nothing helpful came to mind, useless brain.

"Prepared?" He said, bringing his red weapon up to face me. How am I still not ready when people ask me things like that? I take my helmet off, it's nice to breath unfiltered air, may as well, before I die a horrible stabby death in this creepy room.

"Bring it." I say as bravely as I can manage, the guard lunged forward with his spear. My chestplate shatters as I call my lightsaber to my hand. I bring out the bright white blade and the strips of cloth that had held it to my abdomen burn from the handle and fall to the floor.

"Die Jedi scum!" screams the guard, swinging the sharp blade at me over and over, I parry each blow, but only by taking a step back for each swing. Before I know it, my back foot hits the throne and I'm stuck.

"You know you could be more inventive with your insults, give me something better before I die eh?" I said holding back his blade with all my strength as it started creeping its way towards my neck. One of his hands moved to the handle of my lightsaber, pushing it back towards me. A stupid idea comes to my head. I send him a childish kissy noise, the red guard seems to lose concentration for a fraction of a second in confusion, it's all I need to push his blade and mine away from me. I let go of my saber and slide down between his legs as fast I can. Standing up behind his back, I call my blade back to my hand, straight through his neck.

 **A/N- Ooooo drama. Saw Solo last night, thoroughly enjoyed it, LOOOVEE the droid so much. Have you seen it?**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight.

"Again?" After a moment of silence, Ben finally speaks. He's ignored my question, but I guess it was a lot to ask for him to give up his afternoons to train me. I shouldn't have asked. The air felt thicker somehow, a little awkward. I really shouldn't have asked. He gave me a questioning look, nodding at my staff, prompting an answer to the question I already forgot he asked.

"Ok." I said in a oddly small voice. We both readied up, but the tiredness from the long day hit me like a wave. What time was it? Was it dark outside? Can I find my way back to my room from here? What the hell was Master Luke's theory about me not having to be able to fight? Wait, wasn't I meant to be sparing? I looked up from the ground where my gaze seemed to have drifted in my thoughts. Ben was leaning on his staff, waiting for my head to get back in the room.

"Go to bed Jessa." he said quietly.

"I'm fine. I need to train, I told Master Luke I'd do my best. I need to be better." I replied, sharpening up my readied stance. Relaxed fun Ben from earlier was gone, his eyebrows knitted together in annoyance at the mention of Master Luke.

"Maybe Luke shouldn't always get what he wants. Go." There was no suggestion in his voice, it was an order.

"Fine." I held my chin up and left him alone with the droids. It was easy enough to find my way back to my room, students were still milling about in the corridors in the early evening light. I shut the door and let my head fall against the old wood.

"Stupid. Stupid." I repeated, knocking my head lightly against the door. I was warned about Ben and his temper, but this felt worse than being shouted at or hit with a stick; it was like he was disappointed I asked, I asked too much of him.

"Enough of the pity party Eiddwen." I scolded myself. On the bright side Benduday was another training morning, so I had plenty of time to let out my feelings, preferably on Tarkan's stupid face.

The next morning I slept straight through to 07.45 before I even stirred. I looked at the clock in my room and jumped up getting dressed in a frenzie not wanting to miss breakfast. I had run into the mess hall before I realised I had bare feet, I was also wearing the rough cotton Padawan trousers combined with the large ratty shirt I came to the academy with. I noticed Koran and Tarken sniggering at my haphazard appearance, Lyra had the decency to look embarrassed on my behalf. The older students were still sitting at their usual table, Gaila smiled and tried to wave me over but then I noticed Ben at the other end and my eyes hit the ground quicker than a falling slab of granite.

What the hell, I don't need to feel guilty about this. I asked a question, he said no. Its fine. Then why does that look on his face make me feel like so bad.

"Jessa, come sit with us!" Gaila yelled, standing up to get my attention again. I walked over, feeling slightly ridiculous without any shoes on. Kareen was smiling and Wate seemed to be in a world of his own. I sat next to Yav who had moved up to make space.

"Not been your morning has it?" he said teasingly, I laughed resting my head down on the table.

"I don't remember the last time I slept past five." I said, my voice sounded strange against the metal table so I lifted it back up.

"Sounds like you were well overdue then. Here," Yav slid his half eaten tray of breakfast in front of me, "The kitchens stopped bringing out food ten minutes ago." I looked at him, shocked. Food was a precious resource where I came from, people _never_ shared.

"Are you sure?" I said in disbelief.

"It's a bit of toast, not a block of solid gold." he replied jokingly. Gaila threw her untouched apple in my direction, muttering about how she hated green apples.

"Thank you both." I said gratefully. The cold toasted bread may as well be as valuable as solid gold, my stomach was growling like I hadn't eaten in days. The conversation drifted to other subjects while I ended up eating the leftovers of everyone on the table. I joined in every now and again but was otherwise inside my own thoughts. I needed a plan, I needed to learn the art of the Jedi without any help. I decided that after training this morning I would scope out the library properly, see if there was any books I could read; thankfully I can read. I caught myself nodding slightly in a self affirming kind of way.

"What you thinking Medo?" A voice pulled me out of my thoughts, it was Tarkan and a set of other students who were smirking childishly.

"Wondering where you left your shoes?" another boy sniggered. I looked at Tarkan, ignoring the other boy completely, anger bubbling my stomach.

"Just thinking about how I'm going to kick your ass later in training, Tarkan." I smiled sweetly though my eyes were sharp, he just laughed, unconvinced and left with his cronies. Yav, quietly bumped his fist with mine. I returned my forehead to the tabletop. "I'm going to regret that later when I'm counting all my bruises." my little laugh turning into a sigh.

"What the heck does Medo even mean?" Kareen asked, unable to hold back a laugh at my sorry state.

"I may have introduced myself as Most Easily Distracted One. Trust me its fitting." I rolled my eyes at the table. Everyone (except Ben) laughed.

"I kind of like it, it's catchy." Yav chuckled. "You can't be that bad at fighting, you've got those killer miners muscles."

"Pretty sure strength alone is not the road to success." I smiled, lifting my head to look at him.

"She can't be that bad!" this time the question was directed at Ben, who looked up from his tray. I noticed he looked even more tired than yesterday.

"Room for improvement." he said shortly, looking back to his tray.

"Ben Solo, being diplomatic? Maybe you do take after your mother!" Yav teased, Ben let out a long sigh but held back the retort he clearly wanted to say. "You must be that bad Medo." Yav said behind his hand to me in a theatrical whisper. I couldn't hold my laugh, even if it stung a little that he was right.

"Maybe I should fob my group off to Gaila and take you on as my Padawan eh?"

"I'm not worth your time Yav, thanks though." I saw Ben's head snap up to look at me out the corner of my eye. "I'm just going to work it out by myself." Yav nodded in approval and Gaila threw a crust of toast at him. Ben stood up and left the table without a word. Kareen started spouting off a bunch of holos that were in the library that would help me, thankfully saying she'd write them all down for me.

I washed quickly after breakfast and headed out, properly dressed this time, to the field. Everyone was already there, including Master Luke. I had remembered my staff, so that was a positive at least.

"Tut tut Medo." whispered Koran as I joined the group. I was really starting to hate that nickname, there was that simmering anger again in the pit of my stomach. Master Luke clapped once to get the attention of the group.

"This morning we'll continue on from yesterday, but it won't be so rigid. You've all learned the basics by now, so pick a partner and spar with what you've learned; add anything additional you've learnt in your own time. Remember you are not aiming to hurt, but to help each other improve." People started to pair up as Master Luke was speaking. Tarkan caught my eye from the other side of the group, I nodded to his unasked question. It was my own fault for basically issuing a challenge at breakfast, but I promised myself I wasn't going to spend half the morning on the ground this time. He started making his way through the slowly dispersing crowd towards me.

"Luke." someone calling Master Luke by his first name caught my attention. I turned to see Ben Solo approaching him, they moved to the side of the group but I couldn't help hearing some of their conversation. I heard my own name, and "not a babysitter Luke". By this time Tarkan had made it over to me and the simmer had turned into a full on boil of anger. A babysitter? All I was to him was a stupid kid? I'll do it myself, I don't need a tutor, I can go lone wolf.

"You ready to be a failure again Jessa?" my gaze snapped to him, I spun my staff once in my hand before readying up, the end of the staff pointed at Tarkan. He must have read the look on my face because it was the only answer I was giving. He laughed at my determination and readied up himself. As soon as he had, I lunged forward, putting my anger into my swing that Tarkan barley parried in time. Taken aback, all he could do was block and dodge the barrage of attacks I sent his way. I didn't have a strategy, just brute force and anger. I was not some stupid child that couldn't hold their own, I had everything to prove to myself in this moment, that I could do this.

I had taken a few feet of ground in the fight before Tarkan seemed to snap out of his surprise. He grinned, blocking a blow from my staff and pushing it back with all the strength he could muster. He clearly wanted to prove he was better than me. I just blocked a jab from the end of his staff, pushing it to the side and following through the motion and bringing the other end of my staff towards his open side, hitting him squarely in the ribs. He cursed, swinging the end of his staff towards my face. The anger boiled up inside me, stronger than ever. Before I knew what was happening, Tarkan was flying backwards, the staff just scraped my forehead as it completed its swing. I took a step forward towards the boy on the floor, staff at the ready.

"Enough." Master Luke said loudly, moving in front of me. My breathing was ragged as I glared at Tarkan, who got up and glared straight back. I wanted to continue, to show him what I was capable, that I had the power to beat him that I was only going to get stronger. "Jessa." he continued trying to get my attention. I looked up at his blue eyes and in an instant the anger turned to panic. I put my hand over my mouth, what had just happened? I could have really hurt Tarkan, maybe I already had. I let the staff fall out of my hand, wanting nothing more than to be out of this situation, to run away from the anger that just overtook me. I took a step back, my hand still clamped over my mouth.

"Take a breath." a calm quiet voice said from beside me. Wasn't I already breathing? I let my hand go and took in a breath that felt like heaven to my starving lungs. The voice continued speaking, I couldn't understand the words but my breathing steadied at the comforting tone. I had never felt anything like that before, the raw power of anger. The thing that scared me most was how good the anger had felt, I don't want to feel that ever again.

"I'm done." I whispered, I couldn't manage anything louder. I looked towards where the voice was and shook my head. Ben looked at me with eyes filled with understanding. "I'm done."

"It's ok." I shook my head again, it wasn't ok. If Tarkan had fell wrong, hit his head, he could have died. I could have killed him in my anger. "Breathe Jessa."

* * *

That's all I could do. Breathe.

I just killed that guard. My brain had stopped the moment his head rolled off his shoulders and fell onto the ground. I felt sick. Oh god, that was one of Snoke's guards. They'll torture me for that, chop me up into little pieces and throw me into space. Panic bubbled up my throat and threatened to choke me, my lightsaber powered down next to me.

"Think think think!" I muttered to myself in the empty room. I took a breath that seemed to get my brain started again, I turned so I didn't have to see the body. The only door in the room was at the other end of the bridge, suspended over nothing. Do I just run? No, I've got to deal with this, I'm not done on this ship yet. The idea of dressing as the guard came and went, Snoke would know as soon as he saw me I wasn't one of his own. I really didn't have any time to waste, so I grabbed the body and its head with the Force and threw it over the edge of the bridge, grabbing my shattered chestpiece I threw the bits to join it. I made it halfway to the door before I realised I wasn't wearing the white helmet. Mentally cursing myself I looked around feverishly, it was nowhere to be seen. I must have thrown it off the bridge when I took it off. Great.

I peaked my head from around the edge of the door out into the corridor, calling my lightsaber to my hand still inside the room. If I get spotted like this, its open season. The corridor seemed empty enough, I keep my boots as quiet as possible on the cold metal floor. I need to find another uniform and fast, preferably another Stormtrooper suit. Unfortunately I have no clue where I am, a holoscreen would be very helpful right now, but the longer I spend in the open the more risky this is. I chose to take the turns at random, trusting my instincts. There is a few more hours before the Supremacy goes to day mode, so I've got time to get new armour and get back to the bunks, easy right?

It's a while before I get to a space I recognise, I'm still at least ten minutes walk away from where I need to be, and there are more people around this area too. I take a breath, focus on keeping my feet quiet and turn the corner, my plan is to move swiftly to the next corridor where there are less people. Thwack. I bump right into someone coming the other way, its a night guard, he takes one look at me and my lightsaber before opening his mouth to shout for more guards.

"I'm meant to be here, you don't need to raise an alarm." I say calmly, its been a while since I've tried this, but its that or start a fight.

"I…" the guard says, confused.

"I am meant to be here. You do not need to raise an alarm." I said again, pronouncing all the words clearly, not breaking eye contact.

"You are meant to be here, I don't need to raise the alarm." He repeated, the panic stone that was pressing on my heart lifted slightly.

"You will fetch me a complete set of Stormtrooper armour and bring it to me here." I felt like I was pushing my luck a bit, but the guard repeated my words back to me and left. I found a quiet nook in the corridor to hide in and waited with bated breath. It was a full twenty minutes before the night guard returned, I had two close calls with a BB droid but it was otherwise quiet. I got dressed quickly and used the extra shirt he brought to tie my saber handle back to my stomach.

"You did not meet me, or bring me armour. You will return to your duties." I said before putting on the helmet and moving at a slightly quicker than Stormtrooper pace back to the sleeping quarters. Soon enough I was back in bed like nothing had happened. I felt different though.

My first kill, it was in self defence sure, but now I had time to think about it I realised how terrible I felt. The sooner I find Ben and get off this nightmare of a ship the better.

 **A/N- Poor love.**

 **How are you finding this? I find that writing a story is always so different to reading it for the first time. I'm trying to write more, promise.**

 **Go read Nerlinger1's story Star Wars: Search for Balance she's incredible and needs more appreciation just generally. x**


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